Finding ways to embrace the new you and new cultures while staying rooted in your true self can make a difference as an immigrant.
Sixteen years back, with my husband and a year-old son, moving to the USA was a huge step. The first few months were exhausting. Simple tasks at times seemed stressful. But eventually, this country and the city of Sacramento became home.
I am often asked these questions by those who moved in a similar situation. “How do you have so many friends?” “How were you able to embrace the culture” “How did you get the courage to run for office?”
All this didn’t come easy it is a fact that if we settle into a culture different than ours, individual identity blues are sure to hit sooner or later. I learned that one can only thrive by finding ways to embrace the new while still staying rooted in your true self, or else you will burn out very soon.
Until a decade back, I struggled to understand where I belonged?
India, the country I was born and raised. It is a country rich in its culture and heritage, and there is so much to learn. However, I do not see myself fit into one culture or religion, so I cannot fully enjoy the different Indian community festivities.
The United States is where we are raising our boys. In California’s capital city of Sacramento, we stay in one of the most diverse zip codes in the nation. I still know many immigrant families dealing with the fear of not fitting in or being accepted or included.
As I take pride in what I have achieved in my life in Sacramento, I wanted to share my experience as a parent and a woman.
Healthy friendships are crucial. I found friends who shared the same interests and hobbies, and we took time for those activities. We listened to each other’s experiences and validated them. It is essential to find friends who are great listeners and will acknowledge the real you. Remember, no matter how we are more networked in today’s world, having good friendships is more important than we think.
Not all the new tags people threw at me these years stuck to me, but there were a few that I liked and moved with them. Like I am a dedicated volunteer and a good cook too. I took a chance to break out of my identity box and learned many interesting things about myself and explored a new side of me. Stepping into a new culture and accepting it while staying rooted in oneself has provided me with many growth opportunities and broadened my horizons.
Having children forced Sudeep and me to change; personally, it made us better people. Parenting itself is rapidly changing and evolving across the globe because the world is bursting with diverse cultures and movements. Sudeep and I love that our kids are experiencing many different nationalities and learning about their cultures from a young age.
Akshaj (16) and Atiksh (10) have traveled three continents so far. We are glad that Akshaj and Atiksh’s view of the world is much smaller — and more prominent at the same time compared to what it was for my husband and me while growing up in India. So, one can imagine the difference already.
Today, I feel confident as a woman and parent because of the diverse community we live in and having strong friendships with families from different backgrounds and cultures. We all are accepting and inclusive of everyone.
As Indian parents, Sudeep and I are mindful of teaching our boys about rich Indian heritage and culture while making them understand to accept many other cultures and people they come across in their schools and community. While growing up in India, we celebrated Diwali, Baisakhi, Holi, Rakhi. As we moved to the states and my kids started school, we now take immense excitement celebrating Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Thanksgiving as our Indian festivals.
My boys are learning a wide variety of cultures and food. We, as a family, are enjoying different traditions and celebrations.
I am fortunate to have spent a lot of time volunteering in the schools and helping other fellow moms celebrate diversity in the classrooms. I have witnessed these students and parents enjoying all this.
Like many other parents, I only hope to pass on this accepting and inclusive mindset to our children to accept and feel accepted in this diverse country.
